I have finally turned 24. I say finally, because I have long considered myself to have turned 24 - don't ask me why.

This is probably the first birthday I haven't greeted with bursting enthusiasm, with plans for the next year, and a constant grin on my face. Perhaps a sign of wisdom finally creeping in? Oh well, time will tell - for all I know, tomorrow I will get to work and swear reasonably loudly whenever I see an email that annoys me, or laugh like a fool at the lamest of jokes.

As listed to my wonderful colleagues who graciously agreed to do a vegetarian lunch in honour of yours truly today, these are my priorities for the 25th year in life:

- Travel more
- Take more photographs
- Be even more chilled in life. Boss interjects saying I'm quite there already, but I think it can be much better - I've decided I should up the ante a little bit there.

And I decided to shamelessly check what I put out on Oct 4, 2009 and evaluate myself:
- put even less tension: CHECK!
- write more: CHECK! Thanks to Spark, that is!
- sing more: CHECK! If all goes well, I shall continue to strain my throat and perform early next year.
- read more: CHECK, going on as usual. The library is being massively built!
- put the blessed d5000 to good, frequent use: CHECK! Nearly a thousand photos in one day, most of which I can daresay look pretty good.

Given my reasonably low goal-setting habit, I have done well and am immensely pleased. Now as 25 begins, and I enter it a little hesitant as I'm painfully aware of the possible changes it heralds, all I can say is hope it's all for the best!
... is one I'm incredibly proud of.

Anita Nair, Devdutt Patnaik and many others have contributed such brilliant views - ranging from Indian literature to mythology to politics to sports to movies, to society. We also have a moving piece from Tenzin Pema, a Tibetan journalist, on what India means to many a Tibetan. And a quirky piece on traveling in India, written by a Singaporean traveler Eugenia Koh. Brilliant photographs of the many facets of India by Mahesh and Jai Chabria. And an amazing epic of a piece from PR Viswanathan that you just shouldn't miss!

Read it here http://sparkthemag.wordpress.com and tell me what you think of it!
It's 12.30am and I really should be going to bed soon if I want to wake up on time tomorrow, but I just had the sudden urge to type, to write... and in a way, chronicle the thoughts running in my head at this hour. Given their disconnectedness, I should perhaps number them!

1. I've been spending hours trying to praise myself and it's not easy. I've never found it difficult to describe myself.. give me a couple of minutes and I can write a page of what I perceive myself to be. Despite this modest declaration, this exercise has been challenging, exciting and taxing. I wonder if this exercise will eventually have a successful outcome! (There, could I be any more vague?!)

2. There is so much happening in life. I'm struggling to divide my time between work, Spark, photography, books (The Count of Monte Cristo currently), my singing, friends, swimming and myself! Weekends - those magical days that I used to relish for their nothingness - have now become packed with attention to the abovementioned. It's amazing to feel that your days have more meaning than just what work affords, though!

3. It's been two years since I started working. Can you believe it?! It's shocking (and great!) how the mind still feels like it belongs to the gawky, enthusiastic, I-am-going-to-save-the-world 21-year-old.

4. Inception was brilliant. I can't wait to watch it again! And for the record, I really enjoyed Raavanan too. Yup, alright, it's not a usual Mani Ratnam, but is it so difficult for us to appreciate when a storyteller strays off his usual way?

And dreaming of the trip to Phuket that's coming up, I shall stop this ridiculous chronicling and sign off.
Wow, it feels strange to even be writing on the blog - it's been THAT long! I've really missed blogging... ever since the birth of Spark, things have been incredibly busy. And for some reason, I feel that every spare minute I have is being used up for something, and for the longest time, I've felt like I've been leaving no time for myself. But I guess it's good to be busy too!

After what seems like ages, I finally had the whole of today's afternoon free... all to myself! I completely enjoyed it - reading, watching videos, napping at odd hours... ah, such bliss! It just makes you so much more energised about going to work the next day! (I'm sure that is in large part because this Friday I'm going home to India!)

For a strange reason, started listening to Carnatic songs, and needless, got swept away by a wave of nostalgia. I have trained in Carnatic music for almost nine years, and quit when I was 15 - in large part, it was due to teenage angst, I guess - not wanting to be forced to do anything, hating the teacher for only criticising me and never encouraging me, pressure from the family, and so on. My mother's words still echo in me - she used to keep saying that I'd regret it some day.

Thinking back on those years, I guess I don't regret it so much now - I do regret the fact that I stopped practicing, which led to my pitch sinking as low as maybe DK Pattammal's. As I struggle to touch the high chords when singing for a concert I'm taking part in, I feel angry - my voice has never been suited for high pitches, but somehow, this felt very disappointing.

Browsing around for songs, I chanced upon Santhanam - a very popular singer, a chubby, old man, long gone, with an arresting voice. I will always remember Santhanam for the songs of Oothukaadu Venkata Subbaiyer songs. Having first heard those songs as a 4-year-old, they were probably the very first Carnatic songs I listened to. They used to play so often that I learnt nearly all of the songs simply by listening to them. He was perhaps the most popular singer of those kritis.

A vivid memory to do with Santhanam is from when I was probably five. My sister and I had just returned from school and were untying our shoes sitting on the sofa, when my mother came rushing in, looking anxious. 'Santhanam died,' she said, 'in a car accident this morning.' She was very upset, while my sister and I were simply puzzled. We both looked at each other and shrugged, unable to understand why that mattered so much to my mother.

Listening to these songs - Paal Vadiyum Mugam, Alaipayuthey, Thaaye Yashoda, Kuzhaloodi Manamellam - have simply brought so much joy! My mother will probably have a 'I-told-you-so' face if she ever happens to read this. I just want to tell her this is also so much fun; I know she'd much rather I'd continued to learn, practised, but having dipped a toe into the wide world of Carnatic music, the ability to enjoy parts of it, are sheer fun too.

What a random post! Totally loved rambling :D
And here we go with another issue! This time around, it's a trip down the memory lane!
Read it and let us know what you think!

http://sparkthemag.wordpress.com

On a side note - this is probably the first time I've missed a blog birthday. My blog is now 5! I'm quite upset that I've not been able to spend much time here now, but at least my writings have gone on to another level and I hope anyone who's been kind enough to still look at my blog for updates goes on to read Spark!
... is here!

Visit http://sparkthemag.wordpress.com/ to read the issue and let me know what you think!

Spark was started by my sister Anupama and me and with the help of a bunch of friends and writers, we have put out two issues to date.

So read it, and if you like it, pass the link on to your friends!
What's happening on 5 Jan? Watch the video for the pleasant surprise we have in store for you!



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