A movie and upsetting thoughts at midnight

Just finished watching Before Sunrise. My first time watching it and I'm quite sure there will be a number of repeats on this one.

Watching this made me think about how long it has been since I had any intellectual conversation with someone who I could keep pace with and who could provide me enough fodder for thought. AGES! I had quite a few of these till a couple of years back, conversations that were not about anyone but treading on spirituality, philosophy, music and many, many other things.

And now... common drudgery is simply ruling my life, with my waking thoughts dominated by work, the weekend that's either about to come or the way the weekend is flying, Monday mornings, client expectations, the need to sleep so that I'm alert at work the next day.. since when did life start to be so full of working?

I know it's all my making. It's not that I'm a workaholic. I'm sane enough to know that work is, after all, only work, and not life. Why, then, is it occupying such a huge slice of current life? A lot of things revolve around work, that relaxation is only like some magic potion that I desperately hope takes my mind off the impending day at work that is coming soon.

I have no patience to be online to chat with anybody anymore, I worry and moan endlessly about how all those short stories I lovingly form in my mind evaporate into thin air for lack of time, patience and energy to actually write them down. And in those rare cases I do find the time to write them down, I lose the mood mid-way and the story falls into a horrible spiral of hopelessness that I'm apologetic the story ever got to be written.

I look at my entries till about two years back and wonder where the enthusiasm and dreams about publishing went. How sad is it that as you grow older, you become more 'practical' and don't dare to dream so much anymore?

It's funny how a movie can have such a huge impact on your thoughts.

We all dream big, but over the years, we replace dreams with the more pragmatic solutions. I'm only hoping I don't have to fall into this upsetting trap. Of course, who knows what the future holds for us?

P.S.: Now, now, no advice please!


S m i t h a said...

hey! i want royalty, u stole my thoughts and posted them here :P
After Sunset is also highly recommended.

Bijesh said...

Know what you should do.. just kidding. :)
True, practicality rules the roost as you age but there are those that break out of those bonds. I admire them and carry on with my practical life.

Kishan said...

A very good movie.
A small correction to Smitha's comments..
she was probably referring to Before Sunset.

Ramnarayan said...

life is bound to be having constant changes.. nothing is permanent..

Aravind said...

came blog hopping after ages, lo! in ur blog, I find a post which just reflects my state of mind now!!

>>no patience to be online to chat with anybody anymore!!

exactly! me too.. These days i think i'd rather call up and speak!

so muchhhh of work, hardly any time for hobbies! :(
and the much awaited weekend flies away quicker than a supersonic jet!

at least, u had time to blog about it! naan en blog a visit panni rombbbba naal aachu!

Vani Viswanathan said...

OH my GOD! You're still alive in Blogsville :) Been ages!
Royalty? Yeah, right :)


Yup, really enjoyed the movie.


I know, right? I'm just trying to keep this blog alive coz it's dear!

dante said...

Just as "Before Sunset" made you ponder about changing priorities in life, "Fight Club" had an equally strong effect on me .... it made me realise the transient nature of life and gave me the urge to break out of this endless cycle and just live ..... I believe it was Thoreau who once quoted "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation" and i don't want to end up as one of those men ....

I would rather live as per his other quote "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler."

P.S. I am always open for any intellectual conversations ... ;->

Vani Viswanathan said...

I like that quote! How sad,and, how true!
>>P.S. I am always open for any intellectual conversations ... ;->
hahaha! wasn't the problem time :D

dante said...

that's one of my fav quotes ... together with the one by james dean "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today" ... and i do tend to over quote these 2 quotations at times ...

P.S. i am relatively free nowadays ... maybe due to simplifying my life ... anyway the ball is in your court now ... ;->

Kaber Vasuki said...

Lucky for me, I have some friends who I can relate to intellectually. :P

Linklatter's movies are all good, my favorite would be "Waking Life". Another unrelated movie that set me thinking recently is "The Wackness"

Check them out too.

P.S. You have a new follower :)

Kaber Vasuki said...


Fight Club screwed up my way of looking at things for a long time too.

dante said...


point agreed about "Fight Club". I still tend to narrate myself in the third person occasionally thou i hate to admit that even in my wildest imagination, my alter ego wouldnt be as handsome as Brad Pitt ..... Haha ..


still waiting for one of your kutti (pun intended) stories .....

Ramnarayan said...

hi, moving off from singapore to coimbatore on friday, 31st july, 2009. going there for work purpose in bangalore, but take a break for 10 days first. yeah!

Aparna said...

Nice...Your blog is really too good...all of them...Not only you but it shud make everyone ponder