I hate cooking. Given a chance, I'd never cook my entire life, but will hog on food someone else cooks. But this stupid place I'm in forces me to try my hand at cooking pretty often, as I resolutely stick to being vegetarian. It's also better I cook at times to leave some people free of my curses and swearing. This evening, for instance, the Chinese food stall guy in one of the canteens was the poor object of my cursing (when I returned, of course!) as I realised that the dumb idiot had added egg to my fried rice despite my strict instructions not to. 'No meat, no fish, no egg, understand?' and the stupid guy had nodded vigourously. It took me 50 minutes to eat the food after picking up the shreds of egg.
And so, it's better I save some people any effect of my killing them with words. Any experiments with cooking, though are better restricted to Singapore. Once, over-excited-me tried at home. And see what happened.
Scene: Home, Chennai. First year summer vacation.
Author: (excited after seeing friend in Singapore cook pasta easily. Has even bought a packet of pasta to make it at home)
‘Amma, I’ll make our tiffin today!’
Amma: (thinks, ‘danger’) And what’ll you make?
Author: Pasta!!!
Amma: (tries dissuading author, saying it’s not healthy, that author doesn’t know, etc., quits after a few attempts)
Author: (Excitement reaching peaks. Takes a wok and puts the necessary stuff in. Realises the only spice available right away is chilli powder)
Who cares, it’s spice!
(Cooks!!)
It’s ready!!
(Nobody interested, or listening. Gets irritated, and manages to drag people to the dining table)
Eat!
(Cousin and sister eat.
Cousin gives a weird look, but it’s expected from him, a guy who makes a face to eat anything new.
So does sister. Now something could be wrong.
Author eats. Wonders what is wrong.)
The spice isn’t mixed well.
(Tries to mix the remaining pasta well, to distribute the spice evenly. It still remains the same.)
The spice hasn’t really stuck on to the pasta, that’s the problem.
(Sees nobody really cares. Cousin shrieks when asked if he needs a second helping. Sister doesn’t help much, either.
Author terribly disappointed, upset and hurt. First cooking at home a real failure.)
How mean….you guys just can’t appreciate anything new I try!
(Knows that she herself wouldn’t eat it if asked to. With great frustration, empties the rest of the contents into the trash bin.
Keeps wondering what was wrong. Finally realises.)
Amma, I never fried the pasta in oil after boiling them in water.
Amma: (Shocked.) Then what did you do?
Author: I just boiled the pasta and added salt and spice.
Amma: (Speechless.)
Author: (Vows never to try cooking anything at home, and remains the good girl away from kitchen as she always was.)
Author’s amma makes pasta a few days later, and it’s just like upma – with coriander leaves, mustard seeds, et al. But yeah, upma with a difference. And at least better than the author’s version.
Author hasn’t made pasta ever since. Or cooked at home unless her mom almost threatened her with a knife at her neck.
New beginnings
3 years ago
31 comments:
Hey good one...It reminds me of the time when I cooked pasta in India. After devouring pasta at one of the Italian Cuisines in Bangalore, I decided to try Pasta at home in chennai. Unfortunately did not get proper SALSA. So I decided to make "Macroni Upma" out of it. The scape goat was my cousin (afterall what are cousins for? :p). The gal gulped it down silently and when I asked her how it was...She replied "pretty much like semiya upma, i liked it". Thank goodness! She saved me scoldings from my mom as I had got 4-5 packets of Macroni from Foodworld earlier in the day...So what if i did not cook pasta, i could good macroni upma !!!
Nowadays I make the proper PASTA :)though the scapegoat now is my husband !
ha ha... nice narration :)
You sh'd have sed it was not fried and so fat-free. :) Girl you just have to learn some marketing skills.
Anusha,
hehe...all one needs is to have someone around who can't cook for himself or herself...they better praise what we cook! :P
aravind,
thanks :)
manoj,
haha...marketing patthi enakke-va...how do you think my mom let me make it in the first place? ;)
"I never fried the pasta in oil after boiling them in water."
is that wrong? :D
the three stop strategy to make good food,
1 boil water
2 run buy Maggi and put it on the vessel
3 serve hot in 2 minutes ;)
my experimenys with truth?????
what happened 2 ur cousin???
Vasadhiya poachu! Research says, men cook better than women! Chefs are usually men too la... ;) Why bother with all the cooking??
"I never fried the pasta in oil after boiling them in water."
i dont think u have to, but then the sauce u make, totally makes the difference. It is possible to make very desi versions of it!
Ramyaaaa. Aaahaa ipdi oru koottam vaera kelambiyirukkaa? Naan edho kaaigari mattum vaangiththandhaa podhumnu-la nenachirukkaen. I sh'd seriously rethink this marriage thing.
harish,
apparently!!! or at least, that's what my friend did! :P
mark,
ha! I'm a maggi expert! and i can tell you it doesn't get cooked in bloody 2 mins! Marketing gimmick X(
ramanujam,
He'd had just one helping - he survived!!
ramya,
that makes sense! even otherwise, if men want women to cook, they'll have to put up with such stuff...so maybe it's better they cook themselves? :-/
vijay,
hostel-la panra pasta-ku sauce verava? :O anyways, andha pasta-ke veetla naa thenarinen...sauce ella pannanamna.. :S
manoj,
u really thought you could get away with just kaigari?!?!whoa! in that case, yeah, you should rethink marriage.
:), i love italian food, planning to take a proper course in that!!
Happy New year.. cook good food today atleast :)
vani...
i think u are a nice cook wad:).. so then enna ma orey padips ah ... msg illa onnum illa.. un kuda tu po..
aiyoh shalini i meant
But my dad does. Even my thatha did. It's not fair. God, anything but cooking. Yeah even doing the dishes or washing the clothes, but not this. Which self respecting man can stand in front of the quizzical look that his wife gives after tasting that 'upma' that he makes?
vijay,
:O
avalo vetti? :P
vivhyd,
good food, and me cook? yesterday i had spaghetti and some random indian food, both from the canteen! :)
cooking's only when i'm terribly bored of canteen food! :) so, thappichen...
shalini,
hehe...thank god, you've not seen me make anything except on one odd day.... at least you can think i manage cooking well :P
manoj,
@@Which self respecting man can stand in front of the quizzical look that his wife gives after tasting that 'upma' that he makes?
The man who can stand his wife's looks when he complains of the upma she makes.
thatz really bad vani..... hmm i think guys these days cook better than girls... macaroni la noodles senja superaah irukum , and who said pasta needs to be fried in oil? Simple thing, chop onions, tomatoes, fry it, add spice and masala to it, meanwhile boil the pasta and mix this both...
hey btw vani.. blog updated and kochikka koodathu, this time the lead character in my story carries ur name. no offense to your name, just for want of a catchy title, i used this name....
Aaahaa, as if a man can complain about his wife's cooking and go unharmed!
(BTW, does it by any way, mean that if i don't complain about my wife's cooking, then, i don't have to cook? :) )
R Subras,
Ok, whatever you said about the onions and frying didn't make much sense...why're you frightening poor me talking of alternatives when i can't even get the easiest thing straight? :)
And hey, it's time for some possible reversals of gender-roles!
Manoj,
>>>as if a man can complain about his wife's cooking and go unharmed!
Exactly my point. So instead of going around fussing that women don't spare them if they criticise their cooking, men can simply cook themselves. This way, at least there's a bleak hope of knocking some sense into men.
And if you wouldn't have to cook if you don't complain about ur wife's cooking, I don't know! Depends on the girl...I would ask any guy to cook nevertheless...and if criticises, all the more reason why I should stop!
:) me not frightening poor kid u, but just a simple piece of info to suggest how easy things really are...
welll...... aayiram irunthalum, amma samaiyal pola varuma... apadinu paiyan solanumna only girls shud cook :p
hey btw checked my blog??
Romba usaaaarudhaan
yes Vani, R Subramanian is right. Do you really want to see in future TV ads this? - A Man with an orange thundu holding a karandi in his hand - "Maamaa's masala - Apdiyae thatha samayal pola!"
(I am wondering, Why am i begging at my knees in this comment section? Do i really hate cooking that much? I should start experimenting.)
R Subras,
amma mandaila narukku-nu kuttina paiyan solla poraan, idhukkaga eppome girls cook pannanama? :)
Checked the story out...but fullum padikala...will read it fully sometime...
Manoj,
Seriously...for all the time you try to find new things to say here, you might as well try your hand at the upma!
u poor thing!life in a country like singapore does have downs too,when it comes to food.watch out the next time u eat chinese noodles.there might be a snake in it.
Neeyum un blog-um. Un paechha kaettu naan panna vaelaikku, enga veettu vaelaikaaramma kooda enna thittittu ponaanga.
SHEKS,
adaan naa noodles pakkame poradhu illa! :)
Manoj,
LOL!! You tried at your own risk! :P
And yeah, despite all the trouble my blog has apparently caused, you still visit...whoa! I'm happy! :)
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