Ok, before any of you think this is a review of the latest PDA, let me tell you its not Personal Digital Assistant, but Public Display of Affection. ;)
Coming from quite a conservative place like Chennai, of course, Singapore would be like almost watching a "live" English movie for me. I stared in horror and surprise the first day as I watched couples all around happily embracing each other in the crowd. Absolutely no inhibition! In the beginning, God only knows why, I used to feel embarassed if people are doing "matter" anywhere around and I used to put my head down. Now, good, I've learnt to ignore it (or at least pretend to) and slyly pass comments to my friends around.
These people, oh man, exceed their limits most of the time. As you go around the university at night(well actually, any time of the day!), you will see so many couples so engrossed in talk, hands clasped together, and some extreme cases where the guy takes the girl around on his back (you know, the "Ponnumani" style ;) ) and I think "They can't get worse!!!"
Fine, man, the girl or guy is your life.... show it out to a certain extent....but think of the others in the road, enakkenna unga romance-ellam paakanumnu thalai ezhuthaa? Ozhunga ellathiyum silent-aa pannungalen! There are hardly any chapta girls here without a boy friend. And what I can't understand is why the boy thinks the girl can't survive without him. He holds her hand as he walks, and if any of us come in between, he puts their *joint* (for lack of a better word!) above us, or pulls her closer and does all in his power not to let her hand go. Oh my God! Such kiddish and irritating boyfriends!!Konja neram summa viduda!!
If at all I have a bf who does such nonsense I'll yell at him and ask him to leave me free for a while. Well, its another thing that I might say all this because I'm not in any such *silly, romantic* relationships now and might actually enjoy them if in one, but they seem to be hopelessly romantic, and I'd rather he be a guy who doesn't go about showing the world our relationship! Silence please!
This might be contrary to many of your beliefs, I'd like to know what all of you think also! Do let me know... all I can say is I don't know what I will do if I come to the U.S.....it should surely be worse, right? Oh Lord!
New beginnings
3 years ago
34 comments:
I thought you were from chennai......haven't you even been to Besant Nagar beach after 7 pm?
well its the same everywhere. about PDA as such, it bothers only when you think too much about it.
Rightly said Saranyan!!!...I think you have got the reason too Vani...its jus that we are from a once conservative city...BTW, I think its sortta okay to take your guy/gal's hand...I am not getting romantic...but thinking of it, if they dont have any problem in doing that in public, there is nothing u can do expect blog about it and prefer(pretend) not to see it...
enakkenna unga romance-ellam paakanumnu thalai ezhuthaa? Ozhunga ellathiyum silent-aa pannungalen! ha..ha..ha...
Such kiddish and irritating boyfriends!! I wouldnt say that is a kiddish behaviour...may be that is more than matured...do those people think that you have been kiddish in trying to get inbetween them having seen them coming with a "Joint"..
I'm not in any such *silly, romantic* relationships now and might actually enjoy them if in one. May be once you are in, you wouldnt say this...
saranyan...
7 pm appuramellam beasant nagar beach paathathilla!marina mattumdhaan! ;) (neenga sonnadhai naan paathathillaye!)
krish,
*if they dont have any problem in doing that in public, there is nothing u can do expect blog about it and prefer(pretend) not to see it...**
adhukkudhan indha blog! hahaha.. ya, maybe i won't say it if i'm in such a relationship, thats what even i felt... ayyayayoo..naanum ippdi thaan kai kothundu povena?? chi, chi (sticking to the taste of my blog!! ;) konjam, ezhudhinadhukku ippdi sollikavenum illa?)
US pathi Sollanumna I am in school so PDA is not a big deal, u get to see it often. I kinda of say that Indians suck in expressing their love, inhibitions comin in name of culture.
All we need to do is
"Think outside the bun" -- Broadmind venumnu sonnen....
Enaku ennamo thappu illanuthan thonrathu....
Kay and Jagan certainly spoke out their opinion. V, this topic is something that I've argued with people who are not close to me. My best friend and I huggefd each other when we met after a year. This apparently was " too much" for a group of "friends" who were with me. Oh, my best friend is a girl. It is something that differs from person to person. And certainly, coming from the conservative society that we are from, such PDA's are a "big thing" or even taboo.
As for my opinion, i think I've pretty much conveyed it.
Holding hands is acceptable. Holding a new persons hand every semester is bad. I see the second case a lot in my school.
hehe, same pinch :)
I get all queasy and awkward when I witness PDA too
and in my opinion, I feel it's more of a statement to the world saying "Ha! I've got a galfriend/boyfriend" than an expression of love to the galfriend/boyfriend concerned.
PS.
No, idhu sour grapes illai!! :D
So i have a company here... PDA is something very irritating for me and i often crib about it with my friends and cousins.
Holding hands is not a problem... but most of them dont stop there. But when they cross limits, i kinda fail to see any difference between such humans and dogs!!!
And this kinda "lage raho" thing is becoming more and more popular here in bangalore!!! :)
whoa!
i thot i was the only 'old-fashioned' girl around, good, i've got company too! ya, holding hands is acceptable, but all this 'uppu mootai thookifying' business is simply too much! ;)i've refrained describing other such acts (read horrifying)myself wid difficulty...they'd be interesting for me ;) but edhukku anaavasyama maanam vaangikanum?
who are we to define morality here? I see a lot of people being cool with the 'holding hands' thing but not hugging and kissing. so how come that alone became acceptable? just because you are not comfortable with ceratin things how can you apply the same for others? Is this Taliban 2.0 :)
No one is trying to define morality!!! these are just personal opinions. And no one should have any problem with others' opinions as long as they dont try to force them on others!
And in this civilised society there are some common standards of behaviour. For example here in india one is expected to be fully dressed while going out. May be in US people can go out bare chested at beaches etc. But what if some one want to roam around naked? I think even in US or singapore, he will be moved to a mental hospital. So do u call it talibanisation?
I hate it too!! Tsunami oru night 7 manikku maela vanthirundha indha gumbal ku konjam bayam vanthirukkum I guess!!
I blogged about the same thing here...
http://pravunplugged.blogspot.com/2005/03/love-all.html
From the huge responses I got, I just concluded that it is something which cannot be controlled.
I prefer to stare at those people though...just hoping that they feel uncomfortable :)
Now, wit, am doing this for the second straight time..
Are u from D.A.V. too?? :)
Just asked that in Kay's blog too :D
@Vani
Apologies, i am kinda spamming ur blog. But had to post this... :)
@Jagan
Yes, you are right. Each society has its own understandards. And thats what i also said. And thats why i gave an example of different standards of dressing in US and India. u didnt quite get me...
The point i was making is, even though there are different standards for different societies, there is something basic thats common to all societies in a given era. For example as i have given, no one goes out naked any where in the world. And thats what differentiates humans from animals.
We as human beings have some places designated for certain things. If we do everything everywhere, then there will be no difference between dogs and we people. And thats what i was talking about...
Kissing parents/uncles/aunts is nothing obscene. But the kinda PDA i was talking about is nothing comparable to it...no i can't write them here. I can mail you if you want the details. But be warned, i am not good at writing pornograhy... :)
And i never talked about any specific culture like US/Singapore. I actually wrote about things hpng in my city...
PS: By saying all these if i have offended the feeling of anyone who believes in and practices PDA then my deep-felt apologies. These are just my personal opinions and please don't care a damn about them... :)
Well, in my opinion it's their life and let them do what they want to do with it, until it interferes with mine. Like others have said, I have also seen this at Besant Nagar Elliots Beach, and in a lot of other places - Spencer's Plaza, Alsa Mall, Coffee Days and several such places. And I think you will start to get unmindful of such things, when you yourself get into such a relationship. Things change with time :-)
Sriram, were are coming in cirlces I guess. Who defines these common stndards? and why should it be forced on people who doen't like them.
I'm telling you guys, this is not a big thing to get all disturbed.
Praveen, thats a CHEAP thought, about the tsunami thing. Now who is uncivilized here?
Whoa, another "Sriram"? Small clarification to the other "Sriram". Dude, PDA does not equal pornography. If you think so, just shows you've understood PDA in a completely different way.
@ Vani, what's wrong in "Uppu mootai thookifying?" it is not just guys and their lovers who do it. Guys and their friends (girls of course) also do it. The idea here is that they don't see a difference between a girl and another guy when it comes to friendship. Ok,, me shutting up, thankoo.
Saranyan,
Am sory if that was crude. Aarva kolaar-la over-a ularittaen :D
and I apologize for the outburst too.
Vani, This post was fun to read. It is understandable when one cringes at such sights. Fortunately (or otherwise) I wasn't brought up in Madras so to me it was normal. I agree with Twin-Gemini. Not really worth our breath as long as no disturbance is caused. A temple in Bombay issued a dress code. There was a understandable cry about it, but offices have dress codes too. So why the double standards? I think its fine as long as people are sensible and take note of the ambience and the surrounding. When the foreigners visit India, they are surprised that guys and girls intereact in a such a closeted fashion!! Its all about perception, isn't it?
I loved the expressions (Tamil) that you used. :-))
hehehehe....
Indians are backward because they "pie" on roads...
Wowww....Americans are progressive and spohisitcated ...because they "make love" in public.
Is Kareena listening??? ;))
besh, besh..romba nannaarku! idha, idha, idhathaan naan ethirpaathen!
adada....naduvula oru mini sandaiye nadandhudthu!!!
ok, so my problem is not with holding hands, its just that i find it quite funny and irritating if the guy sticks to his gf's hand even when people are passing; yes, these things are common in singapore, but what i've written is just a kind of reflection of how different india, or chennai, to be precise, is.
personally, i won't want to hold my bf's hand when i'm out. since i have such opinions, it's only natural that i'll find people practising (!) PDA quite funny. after coming here, i no longer feel uncomfortable if people do it in public, but i'd surely be surprised if indians in india do it. our society is still conservative, and we can't expect our parents or relatives to be quiet if i go hug my best friend (who's of opposite sex) in public..at least we can't expect them to be quiet if we are people who are bothered about what others think of us..if we don't give a damn to what the society thinks, very well, you can do what you think is right, and this, varies with people.
and as all of us here have agreed, it changes from person to person. i can see that most of the bloggers who are just about my age, say about a year or two older than me feel the same thing. as many of you have said, probably we're just yet to experience the world, and maybe our thoughts will change with time!
sriram, finally, friend-a uppu mootai thookarthukkum gf-a thookarthukkum vidhyasam theriyadah pappava naan? ;) obvious differences irukku pa! adhukkapram avanga enna pannangannu naan ezhudhalaiye!!!!lol
and as i was returning back to dorm now, i saw PDA in the bus....all i could do was to check my laughter on time...i was thinking of this *huge debate* that this thing sparked in my blog....
anyways people, thanks for all those comments! now i know what people think....
Think I am the last one to comment abt this..
I am from our conservative chennai too and was shocked to find this "irukki anaichu umma" cases when i landed in london... but then, as long as they don't drag you in between, just ignore 'em or rather enjoy..
We have had quite a big debate abt this before. I heard from some ppl that UK used to be very conservative until mid 70s... these PDAs were not only considered immoral but also illegal.. sometime around 70s, the legal stuff was not in between and all hell/heaven broke loose.. i hav often found elders (who wd still be wearing a formal suit & hat even for a casual walk) giving a smirk at this PDA. think it evolves with time & culture..
jujupi matter. I saw this in ALSA MALL before 6 years. ellam kali muthi pochi. U can talk all this philosophies unless we get a BF or GF or such opportunity. But I agree few wont do even if they get such opportunity. There r so many good people around like ME ;).
i do understand the post(well put!) and the comments(nicely done people). at last, a blog where tamil people talk sense and i was not going to miss the bandwagon for anything. or did i miss it already?
yeah, i guess we can all talk about these philosophies, but whats left to be seen is what we actually do given the situation. so till then...
>>U.S.....it should surely be worse, right?
you bet! im sittin in a cafe and i just saw a couple in the couch make out! God, I hate America... hey, wait a dog-gone second.. they both are women...i take that back.. I love America!!
A quick question to the hostess...
>>conservative place like Chennai
!!!! you are kidding me !!!! right?
ehehehe...
everyone seems to be almost biting at me for saying chennai is quite conservative!!! boy, well, ya, it's not, but people there surely don't go to these limits (or i hope they have'nt....i feel out of touch with the dear ol' city for a while !!)
Irukki Anaichu Ummaakke Ippadi Solrele... U guys should make a visit to South Beach, Miami in April/May !!
In order to evaluate the extremeness of any one cultural behavior, you have to place it in contrast to its opposite extremeness. The thought that its only natural for dogs to "do it" and "flaunt it" in public is to completely toss out the "romance" and "passion" aspect out of human spheres of influence and downgrade humans to carnal levels.
Humans are by definition "Social souls". They thrive by socializing and behaviorally aligning themselves with one another. Since evolution it has been perfectly normal for one human being to bond with another in many aspects. Till, conservatism came along in a big way in the world in the form of what a small group of people think the larger group ought to be doing.
Conservatism is a disease afflicting every part of society(western, Indian, Arabic etc.) in different forms. That is a topic for a separate discussion.
In order to evaluate if PDA is to be frowned upon and consigned to so much scorn is a reflection of a society headed towards a false sense of morality and self-righteousness. This is a sign of indian cultural degradation. It is important to remember that India was the land that invented the Kamasutra and the millions of "positions" that go with it.
Such degradation has happened in the last 600 years or so when India lost its identity and touch with its glorious past.
If only people in India can celebrate PDA the way our ancestors did, there would be a greater understanding of human physicality and would perpetrate a wholesome knowledge and "LIFE" based culture.
Irukki Anaichu Ummaakke Ippadi Solrele... U guys should make a visit to South Beach, Miami in April/May !!
In order to evaluate the extremeness of any one cultural behavior, you have to place it in contrast to its opposite extremeness. The thought that its only natural for dogs to "do it" and "flaunt it" in public is to completely toss out the "romance" and "passion" aspect out of human spheres of influence and downgrade humans to carnal levels.
Humans are by definition "Social souls". They thrive by socializing and behaviorally aligning themselves with one another. Since evolution it has been perfectly normal for one human being to bond with another in many aspects. Till, conservatism came along in a big way in the world in the form of what a small group of people think the larger group ought to be doing.
Conservatism is a disease afflicting every part of society(western, Indian, Arabic etc.) in different forms. That is a topic for a separate discussion.
In order to evaluate if PDA is to be frowned upon and consigned to so much scorn is a reflection of a society headed towards a false sense of morality and self-righteousness. This is a sign of indian cultural degradation. It is important to remember that India was the land that invented the Kamasutra and the millions of "positions" that go with it.
Such degradation has happened in the last 600 years or so when India lost its identity and touch with its glorious past.
If only people in India can celebrate PDA the way our ancestors did, there would be a greater understanding of human physicality and would perpetrate a wholesome knowledge and "LIFE" based culture.
HAHAHA your post is funny in a very cute way.there seems to be a very genuine likeable innocence about you which is very appealing.it's a pity that I don't understand Tamil very well...
welcome spiderman and wookie!
spiderman aarva kolarula rendu dhadave comment post panniteenga! ok, so india did get the kamasutra....but don't tell me 600 years our kings used to go out and happily kiss their queens! hahaha..lol..:))its too funny to imagine!!
wookie, its okay if you can't understand tamil that much...with what you can follow, i'm sure you'd have made sense of what i'm saying!
Ok..I am late, nevertheless, I gotta see everything!!!
Hilarious ya..
But mavaley, inga namma vootla, anga thaatha vootla ellam un blog aa regularaa padikaranga...Jagaradhai..Unakku irukkunnu nenakaren!!;)
dear vani; Hope I can take the liberty of addressing U this way as I am a75 year old blogger just writing from U.S.I perfectly understand your embarrasment coming from a highly conservative society(we R all birds of the same feather).But look at it this way.As Chakra points out U.K was and still is a conservative thinking country like ours.But here in U.S it is just a common everyday feature.Why? because it is a multi ethnic multi cultural society as is Singapore.It has no specific culture or morals or whatever U call them.They feel free to do what they want. The values change according to time and place.As Saranyan said today U can see this scene at Elliots Beach
and even in Marina!
Anyway I am happy U feel U R conservative and all should do is to turn away both mentally and physically
All the Best; woth blessings
ParthaKrish
ok.. sorry for joining in & biting you with the chennai-conservative-thingy. from what ur sis says, it seems you are in a sort of pickle, Ms.Conservative!
Let me join in biting! from the sound of Anupama Vishy (err.. sorry, too lazy to type u'r naina's full name), looks like the vishys are really conservative! for the sake of the lord (and the devil of course :D ), u r talking (or typing) about PDA, and not DOING it. (Not that I'd complain!)
Ok, now i can see you getting hot behind the ears.. that was just for fun.
P.S : u'r latest post is too long for lazy folks like me.
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